We finally have our tax-deductible donation site set up! Get a year end deduction and please help us bring home our boy!!
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https://www.adopttogether.org/bringsergeyhome
Friday, November 22, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Please help bring our boy home!
My husband, Alex, and I, Danielle, never imagined 5 years ago this is where we would be today. But God has His own plans, and here we are. This is our story; it may be long but to see just how orchestrated this is by God, we wanted to include every detail.
It was February 13th , the day Alex and I got married at the city hall in San Francisco. I had always wanted to get married on Valentines, but the year we wanted to get married, Valentines was a Saturday and we wanted to get married at city hall. So, Friday the 13th in 2009 it was. It is odd explaining to people why we chose that day and it isn’t really what I had wanted. However, it just felt right and we went with it. God knew that this date would be of significant value almost 4 years later. This is just confirmation that God absolutely has our whole lives planned and goes before us. Because 4 years later, we met our son from Ukraine who just so happened to be born on February 13th. That date in an instance made so much sense.
When we were first married we volunteered a lot with both middle school and high school youth groups. We loved working with teenagers and really felt like we were called to work with kids. Alex was in church one Sunday when he heard so clearly God tell him that he needed to help kids. That was it. He didn’t know what to do with it or what he was suppose to do with that calling. For me, it was more slow coming. I had this small seed planted in my heart for children. I’d read blogs of people adopting. I’d see pictures of the faces of orphans and I’d think how amazing that was. I still had a piece of me that really believed adopting was so wonderful, but it was for people who couldn’t have children. I couldn’t deny this small flame in me though that kept feeling like I needed to help children. I didn’t know if it was raising money for terminally ill children, or helping kids in need…I just didn’t know. Alex and I just kept praying, and praying much more specifically for God to use us as He wants, that we will go wherever He leads. One day out of the blue, clear as day, I read a blog post about a teenaged boy from Latvia who desperately needed a family to call his own. Although this particular boy wasn’t to be ours, I just knew right then and there, there was no denying my calling. That tiny seed, that small flame, was now this huge passion in me. It was orphans that God had been preparing our hearts for. Alex came home and I told him all about how I felt, how strongly I felt about this and he said “Let’s go for it!”. It was like a light bulb turned on, for both of us. And this is where our story really begins.
It was the summer of 2012 and we had decided, after much prayer, that Ukraine is where we were being called to help a child. We decided to host a child for Christmas with the intention of adopting so we looked through photo listing after photo listing, pondering their little bios and narrowed down our choices. We finally picked the boy we wanted to host and began preparing for his arrival. Hosting isn’t cheap; we had to pay for airfare, visas, etc and didn’t know where the money would come from. We prayed to God that if this is what He wanted us to do, He would have to provide. And provide He did. We were rear ended in an accident in the summer of 2011. We were so frustrated we hadn’t gotten our settlement yet, but God knew exactly when we would need that money. And it came in right when we needed it for hosting this boy, 18 months later. God is so good. We got a dreaded email that December saying that this child actually couldn’t come anymore for hosting. I was devastated, more so for the child because I knew that this was his only hope of a family. I was ready to give up, I thought I must be wrong about what God wanted us to do. Alex said no…we need to pray. Pray we did. That’s when GOD picked the child HE wanted us to have. We were given pictures and a bio of a 15 year old boy named Sergey who would be able to come last minute. We said okay and cautiously started to get excited. December 20th, 2012 our lives changed forever. Not only did I go that morning to the doctors and be told I was having a miscarriage, but that night, I met my son at the airport. I knew in an instant this was our boy. I fell hard. We drove home with our fussy 2 year old from San Francisco airport and all he did was try to make her happy and quiet her. He succeeded and they both drifted off into sleep.
Hosting changed our lives. It broke our hearts for what breaks His. Our world vision changed. Our hearts were made softer. We experienced unexplainable joy. We watched a 15 year old boy experience Christmas for the first time. We did so many firsts for him; baking cookies and having a flour-throwing fight, driving to see all the magical Christmas lights, laughing with family, being loved unconditionally, finding a family, opening gifts just for him, ice skating, singing Christmas music, church, being able to eat until he was actually full, having plenty of clothes and shoes, a warm bed every night and so much more. We would always hug and kiss him and tuck him into bed every night and I’d say I loved him in both English and Russian. It took him about 2 weeks to learn his first phrase and say “I love you” at bedtime. He was calling us mom and dad and telling us he loved us in no time. I’d tell him to come to my bed when he woke up in the morning, where my daughter and I watched cartoons in the morning. At first he would just stand by the bed, but over those weeks it morphed into him running and jumping in our bed for cartoons, tickling our daughter, talking about our dreams, how we slept, requesting what he would love for breakfast. It was the perfect way to start our mornings. He helped with everything without being asked. He brought in the groceries, he got our daughter in and out of her carseat, he pushed the stroller, he would drop everything to play with our daughter whenever she wanted. He would snuggle her to sleep and tell her “I love you sister”. They adored eachother. Sergey was family to us. It just felt right, It felt like he belonged. It felt like he had always been there. He was this 15 year old kid who had the most sweet heart, that was so loving, caring, kind, respectful and helpful. In the short month we had him, he knew what it meant to be a part of a family. He learned that God wasn’t so bad afterall and a mustard seed of faith was planted in him. We expressed our want to adopt him with an agency and we put in information to see if he was available for adoption. We found out he was not available. It was the most horrible feeling. Here you have this child who you just know with everything in you that he is yours and your told that he can’t be adopted, atleast not now. We were told they would work on it after the kids got back to Ukraine. We prayed, and cried, and prayed some more on our knees. Our time had to end, sadly. We drove to the San Francisco airport on January 13th and stayed at a hotel as we had to be at the airport at 4am on the 14th. We all swam at the hotel and then got all ready for bed in our room. We had two queen beds side by side and our daughter crawled out of our bed and into Sergey’s. She snuggled in as close as she could get and he wrapped his arm around her and they were out. I couldn’t sleep at all that night. All I did was stare at my kids sleeping and thinking about how this was it, I had to say bye in just a few hours. I couldn’t stand it after awhile, the alarm was going to go off in 45 minutes and I was just a mess. I crawled in their bed with them, and put my arms around my kids. Sergey woke up and he heard me balling into my pillow. He sat up and opened his arms and held me as I sobbed into his chest, in the pitch dark room. He looked at me and said “don’t cry mom”. I said “I can’t help it, I love you, you are my son, and I don’t want you to go. I can’t live without you”. That’s when he lost it and I held him as he sobbed into my chest this time. We laid there and cried in each others arms until the alarm went off. We all got ready as quickly as possible, made sure he had everything, me blowing my nose and crying through it all. We all got in the elevator, Sergey and I looked in the mirror on the way down and laughed at our huge swollen, red, eyes. We rode to the airport, and we waited. All the kids had to check in. And then it was time. It was time to say goodbye, or see you soon. It sure felt like bye without knowing the outcome of being able to adopt him. It was the most gut wrenching thing I’ve ever done. I was sending a piece of my heart on a plane to a place where my sweet boy didn’t belong. I couldn’t breath. It was the ugly cry. Alex cried and I can count on one hand the times he has cried in the 10 years I had known him. Sergey was the only child crying, he was sobbing. He looked miserable. He did not want to go. That was probably the hardest day of my life. The grief, was just overwhelming.
Our only way of communication after he returned to Ukraine was over the internet on a site similar to facebook. I told him to write me as soon as he got home. He wrote me that he loved us and wanted to live here, that he wanted us to adopt him. He’d write me as the days passed that he would wake up and realize he wasn’t here and cry. My heart just continued to break. The facilitator who met him at the airport upon returning said that he had made an incredible transformation, that he was a changed kid. She promised she would do everything in her power to get him available. We prayed. We cried. We had people praying all over the place. Churches, friends, family, prayer networks, people we didn’t know. We’d beg on our knees for God to bring our son back home. This was an emergency, with his age, we just didn’t have time. We were told even if everything went right, our chances of him being able to be registered and available for adoption was about 5% . We needed a miracle. A lawyer was sent to his region to do all the paperwork and we waited. And waited some more. All we could do was wait and pray. We got the email that we had all prayed for! Sergey was registered and would be available for adoption in April 2014! We had a whole year to wait, but oh how we praised God. God did the impossible. Glory be to Him.
With a whole year to wait, we decided to host him again just this summer. This time, hosting was for 2 months. Twice the time with our son! We had generous donations and worked our tails off for the rest, selling everything we could think of, having garage sales, and selling premade dinners. God provided yet again and we had the hosting fees in full. June 29th, we all gathered yet again at the airport. I had the biggest butterflies, we were all beyond excited. Even our daughter could hardly wait. The moment I saw him, we locked eyes and he ran into my arms. I hugged him for what seemed like forever, him crying into my shoulder, me tears rolling down my cheeks. Oh, happy day! Everything took off right where it left off. We got home, and all sat on the ground to talk and rough house. All our daughter wanted to do was sit in Sergey’s lap with her arms around his neck and her little face nuzzled right into his neck. It is an understatement to say that she missed her brother. Sergey still lit up every day when Alex would get home from work. This now, 16 year old kid would still shout “Daddy!” whenever he got home from work. He had two kids running to him for hugs and love. We talked very seriously about him living here, what we would expect of him, what would and would not be allowed. This boy would agree to anything just to be able to have his family forever…he didn’t mind anything, he just wants to be here so bad. He again experienced so many firsts: water park, roller coasters, tons of swimming, river rafting, boating, swimming in the ocean, fireworks, water fights, camping…it was a wonderful summer. It all just felt so comfortable, so right. I asked him why he wants to be adopted and he said “mom, I want a chance at a better life, a new life. I have no chance in Ukraine. You’re my family”. August 14th came all too soon. We hugged and cried, but this time we all had hope that the next time we saw him, we would be in Ukraine in April to bring him home for good. It still wasn’t easy. Looking at my poor boys eyes swollen and puffy, crying as he hugged our daughter goodbye, watching him walk away, is just never easy. Sending a child you love with all your heart to a land unknown to you, to a place where he goes hungry, doesn’t get to bathe much, without a family, without someone watching over him, without heat and adequate clothing, is just hard. I sobbed into Alex’s chest after I couldn’t see him anymore. I kept telling myself he is coming back, we are going to have him for good.
So, here we are, in November with just a few months left until we can go get our son and bring him home forever. A place where all his needs will always be met, where he will experience love daily, a place to call home, a life that he would never otherwise get to have. He now has a chance at life, he was chosen.
To give a clearer picture of what Sergey would face, here are some statistics: Only 10% of orphans in Ukraine will have any kind of normal, meaningful life. 70% of orphan girls will fall victim into sex slavery, and 70+% of boys will end up criminals and in prison. 1 in 6 commit suicide because life is so bad. Between the ages of 15-16, orphans are put out on the streets to figure out life themselves, unprepared. Many commit crimes just so they can be in prison and have a warm place to sleep at night and food to eat. Few live to see their 23rd birthday. In an index of “Best Places to Be Born” published this year, with 80 countries being listed, 1 being the best and 80 being the worst, Ukraine falls at number 78 with only Kenya and Nigeria being worse. He has no chance at going to college or having a career and making a life for himself as in Ukraine your labeled as an orphan for the rest of your life. You never get to escape your past.
Adoption is very expensive, it is something we didn’t have saved for. The whopping number is about $35,000 for us. We’ve slowly came up with about $10,000, some of which we’ve already used completing our home study and tons of other paperwork and legal fees. We are still in need of $25,000 to rescue our boy in April. I know so many think “Well, why should we pay for your kid? If you want this child, you need to figure it out!”. It is so hard to explain that it is SO much more than that. We all can’t adopt, but we all can help save a child. While the statistics of the number of orphans is staggering, saving just one makes a difference. It matters to him. He is a life worth saving. If the body of Christ could come together to redeem this boys life, there would be one less orphan in the world in April. You are just as important to this child’s life as we are. You can help write his story too. Please help us bring Sergey home for good, where he belongs. Where he has hope and a future, love and family. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world-James 1:27. With God, all things are possible-Matthew 19:26.
It was February 13th , the day Alex and I got married at the city hall in San Francisco. I had always wanted to get married on Valentines, but the year we wanted to get married, Valentines was a Saturday and we wanted to get married at city hall. So, Friday the 13th in 2009 it was. It is odd explaining to people why we chose that day and it isn’t really what I had wanted. However, it just felt right and we went with it. God knew that this date would be of significant value almost 4 years later. This is just confirmation that God absolutely has our whole lives planned and goes before us. Because 4 years later, we met our son from Ukraine who just so happened to be born on February 13th. That date in an instance made so much sense.
When we were first married we volunteered a lot with both middle school and high school youth groups. We loved working with teenagers and really felt like we were called to work with kids. Alex was in church one Sunday when he heard so clearly God tell him that he needed to help kids. That was it. He didn’t know what to do with it or what he was suppose to do with that calling. For me, it was more slow coming. I had this small seed planted in my heart for children. I’d read blogs of people adopting. I’d see pictures of the faces of orphans and I’d think how amazing that was. I still had a piece of me that really believed adopting was so wonderful, but it was for people who couldn’t have children. I couldn’t deny this small flame in me though that kept feeling like I needed to help children. I didn’t know if it was raising money for terminally ill children, or helping kids in need…I just didn’t know. Alex and I just kept praying, and praying much more specifically for God to use us as He wants, that we will go wherever He leads. One day out of the blue, clear as day, I read a blog post about a teenaged boy from Latvia who desperately needed a family to call his own. Although this particular boy wasn’t to be ours, I just knew right then and there, there was no denying my calling. That tiny seed, that small flame, was now this huge passion in me. It was orphans that God had been preparing our hearts for. Alex came home and I told him all about how I felt, how strongly I felt about this and he said “Let’s go for it!”. It was like a light bulb turned on, for both of us. And this is where our story really begins.
It was the summer of 2012 and we had decided, after much prayer, that Ukraine is where we were being called to help a child. We decided to host a child for Christmas with the intention of adopting so we looked through photo listing after photo listing, pondering their little bios and narrowed down our choices. We finally picked the boy we wanted to host and began preparing for his arrival. Hosting isn’t cheap; we had to pay for airfare, visas, etc and didn’t know where the money would come from. We prayed to God that if this is what He wanted us to do, He would have to provide. And provide He did. We were rear ended in an accident in the summer of 2011. We were so frustrated we hadn’t gotten our settlement yet, but God knew exactly when we would need that money. And it came in right when we needed it for hosting this boy, 18 months later. God is so good. We got a dreaded email that December saying that this child actually couldn’t come anymore for hosting. I was devastated, more so for the child because I knew that this was his only hope of a family. I was ready to give up, I thought I must be wrong about what God wanted us to do. Alex said no…we need to pray. Pray we did. That’s when GOD picked the child HE wanted us to have. We were given pictures and a bio of a 15 year old boy named Sergey who would be able to come last minute. We said okay and cautiously started to get excited. December 20th, 2012 our lives changed forever. Not only did I go that morning to the doctors and be told I was having a miscarriage, but that night, I met my son at the airport. I knew in an instant this was our boy. I fell hard. We drove home with our fussy 2 year old from San Francisco airport and all he did was try to make her happy and quiet her. He succeeded and they both drifted off into sleep.
Hosting changed our lives. It broke our hearts for what breaks His. Our world vision changed. Our hearts were made softer. We experienced unexplainable joy. We watched a 15 year old boy experience Christmas for the first time. We did so many firsts for him; baking cookies and having a flour-throwing fight, driving to see all the magical Christmas lights, laughing with family, being loved unconditionally, finding a family, opening gifts just for him, ice skating, singing Christmas music, church, being able to eat until he was actually full, having plenty of clothes and shoes, a warm bed every night and so much more. We would always hug and kiss him and tuck him into bed every night and I’d say I loved him in both English and Russian. It took him about 2 weeks to learn his first phrase and say “I love you” at bedtime. He was calling us mom and dad and telling us he loved us in no time. I’d tell him to come to my bed when he woke up in the morning, where my daughter and I watched cartoons in the morning. At first he would just stand by the bed, but over those weeks it morphed into him running and jumping in our bed for cartoons, tickling our daughter, talking about our dreams, how we slept, requesting what he would love for breakfast. It was the perfect way to start our mornings. He helped with everything without being asked. He brought in the groceries, he got our daughter in and out of her carseat, he pushed the stroller, he would drop everything to play with our daughter whenever she wanted. He would snuggle her to sleep and tell her “I love you sister”. They adored eachother. Sergey was family to us. It just felt right, It felt like he belonged. It felt like he had always been there. He was this 15 year old kid who had the most sweet heart, that was so loving, caring, kind, respectful and helpful. In the short month we had him, he knew what it meant to be a part of a family. He learned that God wasn’t so bad afterall and a mustard seed of faith was planted in him. We expressed our want to adopt him with an agency and we put in information to see if he was available for adoption. We found out he was not available. It was the most horrible feeling. Here you have this child who you just know with everything in you that he is yours and your told that he can’t be adopted, atleast not now. We were told they would work on it after the kids got back to Ukraine. We prayed, and cried, and prayed some more on our knees. Our time had to end, sadly. We drove to the San Francisco airport on January 13th and stayed at a hotel as we had to be at the airport at 4am on the 14th. We all swam at the hotel and then got all ready for bed in our room. We had two queen beds side by side and our daughter crawled out of our bed and into Sergey’s. She snuggled in as close as she could get and he wrapped his arm around her and they were out. I couldn’t sleep at all that night. All I did was stare at my kids sleeping and thinking about how this was it, I had to say bye in just a few hours. I couldn’t stand it after awhile, the alarm was going to go off in 45 minutes and I was just a mess. I crawled in their bed with them, and put my arms around my kids. Sergey woke up and he heard me balling into my pillow. He sat up and opened his arms and held me as I sobbed into his chest, in the pitch dark room. He looked at me and said “don’t cry mom”. I said “I can’t help it, I love you, you are my son, and I don’t want you to go. I can’t live without you”. That’s when he lost it and I held him as he sobbed into my chest this time. We laid there and cried in each others arms until the alarm went off. We all got ready as quickly as possible, made sure he had everything, me blowing my nose and crying through it all. We all got in the elevator, Sergey and I looked in the mirror on the way down and laughed at our huge swollen, red, eyes. We rode to the airport, and we waited. All the kids had to check in. And then it was time. It was time to say goodbye, or see you soon. It sure felt like bye without knowing the outcome of being able to adopt him. It was the most gut wrenching thing I’ve ever done. I was sending a piece of my heart on a plane to a place where my sweet boy didn’t belong. I couldn’t breath. It was the ugly cry. Alex cried and I can count on one hand the times he has cried in the 10 years I had known him. Sergey was the only child crying, he was sobbing. He looked miserable. He did not want to go. That was probably the hardest day of my life. The grief, was just overwhelming.
Our only way of communication after he returned to Ukraine was over the internet on a site similar to facebook. I told him to write me as soon as he got home. He wrote me that he loved us and wanted to live here, that he wanted us to adopt him. He’d write me as the days passed that he would wake up and realize he wasn’t here and cry. My heart just continued to break. The facilitator who met him at the airport upon returning said that he had made an incredible transformation, that he was a changed kid. She promised she would do everything in her power to get him available. We prayed. We cried. We had people praying all over the place. Churches, friends, family, prayer networks, people we didn’t know. We’d beg on our knees for God to bring our son back home. This was an emergency, with his age, we just didn’t have time. We were told even if everything went right, our chances of him being able to be registered and available for adoption was about 5% . We needed a miracle. A lawyer was sent to his region to do all the paperwork and we waited. And waited some more. All we could do was wait and pray. We got the email that we had all prayed for! Sergey was registered and would be available for adoption in April 2014! We had a whole year to wait, but oh how we praised God. God did the impossible. Glory be to Him.
With a whole year to wait, we decided to host him again just this summer. This time, hosting was for 2 months. Twice the time with our son! We had generous donations and worked our tails off for the rest, selling everything we could think of, having garage sales, and selling premade dinners. God provided yet again and we had the hosting fees in full. June 29th, we all gathered yet again at the airport. I had the biggest butterflies, we were all beyond excited. Even our daughter could hardly wait. The moment I saw him, we locked eyes and he ran into my arms. I hugged him for what seemed like forever, him crying into my shoulder, me tears rolling down my cheeks. Oh, happy day! Everything took off right where it left off. We got home, and all sat on the ground to talk and rough house. All our daughter wanted to do was sit in Sergey’s lap with her arms around his neck and her little face nuzzled right into his neck. It is an understatement to say that she missed her brother. Sergey still lit up every day when Alex would get home from work. This now, 16 year old kid would still shout “Daddy!” whenever he got home from work. He had two kids running to him for hugs and love. We talked very seriously about him living here, what we would expect of him, what would and would not be allowed. This boy would agree to anything just to be able to have his family forever…he didn’t mind anything, he just wants to be here so bad. He again experienced so many firsts: water park, roller coasters, tons of swimming, river rafting, boating, swimming in the ocean, fireworks, water fights, camping…it was a wonderful summer. It all just felt so comfortable, so right. I asked him why he wants to be adopted and he said “mom, I want a chance at a better life, a new life. I have no chance in Ukraine. You’re my family”. August 14th came all too soon. We hugged and cried, but this time we all had hope that the next time we saw him, we would be in Ukraine in April to bring him home for good. It still wasn’t easy. Looking at my poor boys eyes swollen and puffy, crying as he hugged our daughter goodbye, watching him walk away, is just never easy. Sending a child you love with all your heart to a land unknown to you, to a place where he goes hungry, doesn’t get to bathe much, without a family, without someone watching over him, without heat and adequate clothing, is just hard. I sobbed into Alex’s chest after I couldn’t see him anymore. I kept telling myself he is coming back, we are going to have him for good.
So, here we are, in November with just a few months left until we can go get our son and bring him home forever. A place where all his needs will always be met, where he will experience love daily, a place to call home, a life that he would never otherwise get to have. He now has a chance at life, he was chosen.
To give a clearer picture of what Sergey would face, here are some statistics: Only 10% of orphans in Ukraine will have any kind of normal, meaningful life. 70% of orphan girls will fall victim into sex slavery, and 70+% of boys will end up criminals and in prison. 1 in 6 commit suicide because life is so bad. Between the ages of 15-16, orphans are put out on the streets to figure out life themselves, unprepared. Many commit crimes just so they can be in prison and have a warm place to sleep at night and food to eat. Few live to see their 23rd birthday. In an index of “Best Places to Be Born” published this year, with 80 countries being listed, 1 being the best and 80 being the worst, Ukraine falls at number 78 with only Kenya and Nigeria being worse. He has no chance at going to college or having a career and making a life for himself as in Ukraine your labeled as an orphan for the rest of your life. You never get to escape your past.
Adoption is very expensive, it is something we didn’t have saved for. The whopping number is about $35,000 for us. We’ve slowly came up with about $10,000, some of which we’ve already used completing our home study and tons of other paperwork and legal fees. We are still in need of $25,000 to rescue our boy in April. I know so many think “Well, why should we pay for your kid? If you want this child, you need to figure it out!”. It is so hard to explain that it is SO much more than that. We all can’t adopt, but we all can help save a child. While the statistics of the number of orphans is staggering, saving just one makes a difference. It matters to him. He is a life worth saving. If the body of Christ could come together to redeem this boys life, there would be one less orphan in the world in April. You are just as important to this child’s life as we are. You can help write his story too. Please help us bring Sergey home for good, where he belongs. Where he has hope and a future, love and family. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world-James 1:27. With God, all things are possible-Matthew 19:26.
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